How to Succeed in Second Grade

Eddie Hoffman and Mark Sherman ran fast. They were the fastest runners in second grade and that got them a lot of attention from other kids on the playground and from teachers, too.

I wanted to be like them. I practiced running as fast as I could across a tennis court adjacent to the school, but even on a good day I wasn’t that fast. I was more interested in doing cartwheels in the grass and jumping off the monkey bars, anyway.

But I was also interested in how Eddie Hoffman and Mark Sherman were both fast runners who got a lot of attention, even though they were different from each other.

Eddie Hoffman was loud, talkative, and outgoing. He was competitive and wanted to race other kids. He had a lot of energy and his confidence was right on the surface. Kids were drawn to him.

Mark Sherman was outgoing, although not loud. He’d happily race anyone who challenged him. He had energy and confidence when it was called upon. Kids were drawn to him.

I liked Mark Sherman better, but I saw how he and Eddie had two different ways of accomplishing the same things. They could do something well – running, – they were liked and admired by their peers, and they got positive attention from teachers. Both were very successful in terms of being seven year old boys.

Apparently, this was a revelation, because that dichotomy of success has lived with me ever since. Even now, my internal filing apparatus sorts all successful people into Eddie Hoffman or Mark Sherman.

Good salespeople are usually Eddie Hoffmans. Sometimes CEOs are Eddie Hoffmans and sometimes they are Mark Shermans. CFOs and VPs are usually Mark Shermans. Sometimes Mark Shermans are good salespeople, too, but it depends on the type of sales.

Writers and visual artists are usually Mark Shermans. Actors are Eddie Hoffmans. Lead guitarists are Eddie Hoffmans. Bass players are Mark Shermans. Drummers can be either.

Of course, the grown-up world is more complex than that. People can be Eddie Hoffman in one part of their lives and Mark Sherman in another. You can be more Mark Sherman most of the time, but go through Eddie Hoffman phases, and vice versa.

I don’t know what became of Eddie Hoffman and Mark Sherman. I changed schools in the beginning of third grade, so for me they live permanently as archetypes, rather than actual people. It’s no accident, though, that the archetypes of success are boys. Who were the successful girls in second grade? I think we all know that’s a trick question.